Is it not nondual to enjoy something?

This is a misunderstanding I recently became really aware of. See if it resonates for you.

I was speaking to someone the other day who said about their enjoyment of their recent trip to Cornwall.

"I know it's not very nondual to say something outside of you made you happy but I really love it there."

Nonduality (and the 3Ps) can sometimes be heard as "you are only allowed to enjoy the inner good feelings of your being. Anything else is confusion because you're believing the outside thing is making you happy."

But why would we limit our experience in that way?

It's like saying "you're not really happy, it's just your thinking".

Yes, in truth, Cornwall is resonating in some way that means the mind is quiet (or not identified with) and therefore the good feelings of our nature are felt. But if Cornwall does that and Dorset doesn't - then go to Cornwall! Don't force yourself to other places because you 'should' be able to feel joyful anywhere. Don't shoehorn yourself into an idea that if you were 'truly clear and awake' you could enjoy every place the same. I mean, in absolute truth - yes, that's how it would be, because you are the same joyful feelings, by nature, everywhere you go. But, living as a relative-world human, you're gonna like some people and places more than others.

Has this been an idea that you adopted?

I know it's one that I did. And which it's so nice to realise is not true.

By the way - watch the gorgeous chimp. She's not got ideas about what she's meant to enjoy or not!

  • Helen Amery
    My work involves exploring with people who are on the awakening and enlightenment journey. They’ve already seen a lot but they can also feel that their understanding is more conceptual than felt, and lived. They can feel that there is more to be seen and understood and yet they also don’t know how to ‘get at’ that. I focus on this shift from conceptual into the deeper, felt understanding of it.

    You can find me at

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