It Starts With Knowing Who You Are

All your struggles with life start with not knowing who you are. That’s why the perennial question is “who am I?” and this post explains why starting there makes all the difference.

Think of how often in a day you use the words me, or I.

When you use those words (me or I), what are they referring to?

In the beginning of our awakening journey that can seem like a bit of a pointless question. Over time it is known as the most fundamental question to be asked.

Because once we are clear on who we really are, all other confusions and problems fall away.

​For example, if making a decision looks like a problem, it’s likely you’ll be asking some variance of:

“How do I know what the right decision is?”

And it feels like knowing the ‘right’ decision is essential to you feeling OK.​​

To answer the question directly — in the ‘normal’ way — you would go into a whole bunch of data gathering, conversations, pros and cons lists, future-casting for the possible end points of different decisions…and none of these are wrong…


Who do you know yourself to be in the doing of all that?

So instead​​​​​​​

​When you begin with — who am I that is making the decision?

You go right back to the source. Right back to the space you are before any thoughts of decisions, or right things, or possibilities and consequences. You return to the peace of yourself.

And peace is really what you’re looking for when you’re trying to make a ‘right’ decision. “If I get this decision right then I’ll be OK.”

What’s on offer is to flip that. Start with knowing who you are. Realise you are the peace you’ve always longed for. Then see what actions happen and what inputs are gathered to help a decision happen. All now carried out as peace already.

No grasping. No efforting. No suffering. No ideas of ‘right’ decisions and ‘right’ outcomes.

Just you, as you, aware of doing, speaking and deciding. With full freedom.​

As full freedom.

Much love, Helen

  • Helen Amery
    My work involves exploring with people who are on the awakening and enlightenment journey. They’ve already seen a lot but they can also feel that their understanding is more conceptual than felt, and lived. They can feel that there is more to be seen and understood and yet they also don’t know how to ‘get at’ that. I focus on this shift from conceptual into the deeper, felt understanding of it.

    You can find me at

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