Why is this so disruptive?

Chapter Six is the point at which Book Group members get cross with us. We move from the beautiful space of Who We Are, into the exploration of Am I a Separate Self? - and suddenly the mood turns.

No matter how much readers love the scrambled eggs and security guard metaphors we use, all that is forgotten as they start to inquire into whether their belief in being a separate self is a truth, or an idea.

Of course!

We’ve spent years and years cultivating a belief in being separate. We think it is somehow a form of safety. When in fact, maintaining the belief, guarantees insecurity.

Consider something you were recently challenged on. Maybe someone at work challenged you on a project you’ve been proudly progressing. Maybe a parent criticised your work schedule, or lifestyle choices. Maybe a friend criticised your choice of clothes, car, or sporting affiliations.

Did you react. Was there a contraction or tension? Did you protect your position? Or feel defensive towards it? Or frustration with them?

This is the belief in being separate in action.

With Chapter Six we are then looking directly at the core belief behind these surface attachments. So then yes, there is likely to be some contraction, tension, protection or defence that shows up.

This is why it’s so disruptive.

But would you prefer it to not feel like that?

Would you prefer to be absent of contraction and tension?

Would you prefer to be able to hear others and respond, even if you disagree?

Would you prefer to laugh with others when they jibe about something that doesn’t truly matter?

This is why knowing you’re not a separate self is so valuable.

And why moving through the disruption of this aspect of the exploration, while holding yourself, or having others around you, to hold you steady.

Much love

Helen and Sara

Often we’re the only one. Our friends and family aren’t interested in this exploration. If this is you, then consider joining the Thoughtful Raven Community. It’s full of people who are also in this exploration. Who are also often the only one in their immediate worlds. And the value of having like-minded people to hold us in our exploration is huge. Find out more and join the Community here.

  • Helen Amery
    My work involves exploring with people who are on the awakening and enlightenment journey. They’ve already seen a lot but they can also feel that their understanding is more conceptual than felt, and lived. They can feel that there is more to be seen and understood and yet they also don’t know how to ‘get at’ that. I focus on this shift from conceptual into the deeper, felt understanding of it.

    You can find me at

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